A second chance to my decisions
Life is a fairy tale once you get hitched the second time, especially when this time it is arranged by you, with the kind of person you have been looking for the whole life and finally the search ends. Every day is a new day and every night is a dreamy night. Your profession of health and wellness keeps you fit physically, mentally and gives you financial independence. By the way, I seem to have forgotten to mention here that I am an ex-scientist turned to a yoga therapist and a personal life coach. I hope that the life I am talking about is what most of us with failed or bad marriages wish to have. But getting the courage of re-investing your time, energy and emotions into yet another relation, after so much accumulated pain of years, may not sound like the master plan for everyone. But you never know what’s in the box and you end up deciding something against your last decision. Did I say the last decision? Was my last decision was really the last? Well, I have decided on some new life over my last decision, so I know that wasn’t the last one for sure.
Since I had turned in to the yoga personnel and devoted myself to more organized learning of philosophy of life, human behaviour and psychology, the brain theory, mindfulness and faith in the higher reality, my fear of the unseen has lost completely. There’s a new angle of looking at everything around, no confusion, no glitch, no judging, no expectations and just a new, confident and daring me….Pooja 2.0.
So, I got married last year….I should say re-married after around 2 years of dating and knowing my now-husband beforehand, at least that’s what I thought.
Did I really want to get married?? A very subjective question and the answer could be very different for everyone. The same was the situation with me and my husband. So, I have had it all in the past, a well-reputed family, a husband, two beautiful daughters, nice in-laws, good social standing and everything which you are entitled to get after you get married in an Indian scenario.
So why not just be free now and enjoy life as it is?
But being a spinster for all his life, my husband was looking for settling down, having a partner by his side, to come home for someone every evening, having each other in sorrow and happiness and rest all you might have heard during any wedding while couples take an oath. Believe me, I also wanted all that but being into marriage earlier had made me aware of all that which is not in the oath list of any wedding and comes as a part of exchanging the rings.
Still, I got married believing in a lot that I knew and justifying and using my mind wherever I wasn’t able to follow my heart. For some of us, it could be a wrong decision if I needed to justify somewhere and for some of us, it’s right as if we keep the fear of unseen at the driver’s seat while taking decisions, we would end up stagnating the flow of life. That’s the first time I have used the word right or wrong here. Personally, I don’t think that a decision is in either of the categories when it’s taken and our course of actions as per our always changing circumstances mould everything into the place or the other way.
So, why do we worry about something that didn’t happen so far? Didn’t I decide to get married years ago when it was for the first time? I did. Then I made another decision for coming out of it and I did that too. Overwriting your last decision with your new one could be difficult initially but it keeps you going and you never know which decision in life is your final one.